I didn’t like who I saw in the mirror. I didn’t like being in a full length mirror, and seeing the person looking back at me. Let alone being in front of my husband, and him seeing who I was, how big I was.
I had a hard time sleeping, and I know during pregnancies it was worse, but it got to be all the time. Then I started realizing that I wasn’t remembering stuff, and they always say, “Oh, that’s pregnancy brain, or baby brain.”
I just didn’t feel like it had always been that way, because it was constant. It never seemed to get better, it was getting worse.
I always wondered if eating better would help. So I tried to make little changes. Like I’d eat wheat bread, or cut out some sugar, but it did never seemed to help.
I didn’t ever think I was sick because I didn’t go to the doctor. I didn’t ever feel so bad that I needed to. I thought it was all minor.
As Dr. Michelle and Mark were talking at the Dinner Talk, everything on their list (hormones and all) was like check, check, check! I could experience all of those in a day.
It’s hard to do something alone, but my husband and I are both finally onboard together. Before, he wanted to do stuff and I was just like, “Whatever! Go work out! I’m happy for you…”
I wasn’t there yet. I didn’t want to be. But when we went to that dinner talk, it really helped. It was just what we both needed to hear. We were excited to go talk to Mark further. That day changed a lot.
Mark and Michele are examples of who God wants us to be for people. I mean, I was thinking about it today… they show love, like that’s all they know.
I came in thinking “He’s bodybuilder and he’s in this great shape, so he’s gonna think horribly of me ’cause I’m this 200 pound girl that eats like crap..” But he didn’t make me feel like that at all! He was just like “We’re gonna get this figured out, and we’re gonna help”.
It was easy to stay on track at first, for the most part…. It stunk because I didn’t really care for the detox drinks, but we invested the money so we had that financial accountability to help us out.
I started seeing results, and it started feeling really good because I was like “Maybe I can see under 200 again!” And then I got down to 180! I hadn’t seen that number even when we got married. I think the last time was like seven years ago (and I think that was 187).
It felt so good to actually hit numbers that I thought were unreachable. I’m finding peace in myself. I love myself. Before I didn’t want to look in the mirror. I didn’t like who I saw at all.
When I started losing weight I looked in the mirror and I liked it. I smiled for the first time at who I saw.
It’s nice having the support system around you, and it’s a much needed culture change. When you have people who are willing to tell their story, and be real, it helps you know that you’re not alone.
There’s other people who struggle with stuff, whether it be weight, feeling like you’re not a good enough parent, etc. It’s just nice to know that you’re not alone. And Mark and Michelle make you feel like that. They make you feel like you have support and they love you.
Even though we may think we’re alone. Even though we have those depressed thoughts or anxiety, you’re not alone. Your friends, your spouse, and your kids all need you.
Even though you may think a bad choice only affects you, it affects so many more people.
